How to rescue positivity in times of uncertainties?

A couple of weeks ago, the news was there; we officially reached a pandemic. In a couple of days, the whole world changed. Especially here in Serbia, they started with the evening clock, which soon followed with lockdown weekends. For me and my partner Vesna, this meant also closing our brand new workshop space, cancelling our programs and speaker from Norway for our event Dare to Connect, cancelling the visit of my family and friends. Time to decide to fight in Serbia or fly back to the Netherlands during this pandemic.

Fight-or-Flight

The term ‘fight-or-flight’ represents the choices that our ancient ancestors had when faced with danger in their environment. They could either fight or leave. In either case, the physiological and psychological response to stress prepares the body to react to the danger. 

A magical response of mother nature kicked in; it triggered my hormones, to prepare my body to stay and deal with this threat. It was time to fight and to bring my experience into practice! This natural high, or better called; stress response, was keeping me going, made me creative, drove me to take action. Only the worst part, it was just a trauma response to coverup the real deal.

Totally f*cked

The great thing is that our body protects us, and after the real treat is gone, it closes off our reserve and puts the mirror in our face. O yes, the moment of just feeling f*cked, weekend long in the lockdown, the room is shrinking, and the bottle of rakia is empty with still 24 hours on the clock… the only thing possible is going on another date with Netflix.

O yes, even as mindfulness promoter, sometimes it’s oke just to let it go and allow yourself to embrace the concept of feeling f*cked. The practice of feeling mindful about accepting what is and letting go!

Acceptance

Mindful attitude “acceptance”; To start changing things in our lives, we first need to accept them as they are at the moment.

After meeting the f*cked-up self, it’s time to give the dude some compassion, be kind and become friends with this side. Because in these times of uncertainties, we never know when he shows up again. Better to stay in good terms and stay honest, we can’t always be the better version. Find and agree on a way for yourself to allow and accept both sides working together, without harming yourself.

Beginner’s mind

Mindful attitude “beginners-mind”; The way to allow yourself to experience known things like a new experience.

To be honest… I’m sure that after this pandemic, many standards will be different. So maybe good to start already with seeing the things changed, seeing the uncertainties as opportunities. Try to see the situation with new eyes; try to understand the decisive factors.

If your mind is empty, it is always ready for anything; it is open to everything. In the beginner’s mind, there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s mind, there are few.

Shunryu Suzuki

Use your time to connect deeper with yourself and partner. Kickstart your dream project that’s already on hold for years. Plan a zoom call with friends or family to stay connected. Organise a romantic movie night with your partner. Finish your books, online courses or other things you started but never finished.

And if you don’t feel like it; allow yourself to go on another date with Netflix and chill in your onesie… accept what is only don’t let Mr. F* harm yourself.

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